


Secret little rendezvous

by Kristinapending



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Narry - Freeform, narry storan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8735857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristinapending/pseuds/Kristinapending
Summary: This is a Narry AU fan fiction.
Niall has never been one of the popular kids in school - that's why he felt uncomfortable when he had to move to the UK with his parents and his older brother.In school he met Harry - could they maybe get friends, even though Harry kept mocking him? Why did he care about him anyway?





	1. Chapter 1

Niall was still wide awake even though it was already after midnight. Tomorrow would be the first day at his new school - he had just moved to England with his parents and his older brother, Greg. He had never wanted to leave Ireland but he had no choice as his father got a new job offer in Holmes Chapel, near Manchester. They've already been here a few days and Niall felt like there was no chance he would ever get happy here. He already missed Ireland, his friends - even though he only had a few; he's never been one of the popular kids in school.

He couldn't really understand his brother - he was seven years older than him and still moved with them to England. If he was him, he would have just stayed in Mullingar, their hometown. Though his girlfriend had just left him after their three years relationship and he obviously didn't want to keep seeing her nearly every day. Niall didn't know what it felt like to be in love - he didn't have a girlfriend yet; hadn't even kissed a girl. He didn't know why but he just wasn't interested in any girls. Then again there had never been a girl who was interested in him. Maybe he was just too boring and nerdy. Most of the time he would spend alone - either studying or reading. He barely shared any interests with all the other students - he didn't like football, going to parties or listening to loud music. Still he loved musicals and dreamed about getting a role in Les Miserables, one of his favourite musicals at West End. He would never have enough self-confidence to actually go on stage every night though. No one knew about that dream anyway. Maura and Bobby, his parents, loved him and he truly loved them but still he didn't tell them. For a long time he hadn't even been able to tell them about the bullying at school but eventually they found out anyway. One day he came back home with a black eye and had to tell them, crying like a little boy. It was embarrassing and the look in his mother's eyes made him feel worse - that's why he didn't want them to know in the first place. Maybe the new school would also be a new beginning? Maybe he would finally make some more friends and things would change? Somehow he couldn't imagine that.

When he had only two hours until his alarm would go off, he turned on the lights and took the book from his nightstand. He wouldn't get any sleep anyway; hopefully the book would get his mind busy so he wouldn't think about school the whole time.

Niall went down to the kitchen after he got ready, his mother always insisted on having breakfast before leaving for school or work. There was already a hot chocolate in his favourite mug on the table. „Good morning sweetheart... did you sleep well?", his mother asked with a smile on her face. Niall just nodded while taking a sip from his hot chocolate. If he looked as tired as he felt, she should recognize his lie but she didn't say a word. „Are you excited?" She put down some toast in front of him, ruffling his hair with her other hand. „Mom, stop it!", he grumbled, trying to smooth it back down. The smell of food made him feel sick though he didn't want to confess how nervous he actually was. Maybe his mother could sense it anyway - that's what mothers do, right?

Bobby came walking in, asking his son if he was ready to leave. It was late November and freezing outside, so he would drive Niall and drop him at school before going to his first day at work.

Niall finished swallowing the last bit of his toast before he got his coat and a beanie. He didn't want his dad to drive him because he was quite certain that the others would make fun of him but his mother wouldn't let him drive by his bike.

"Good luck, son", Bobby said with a reassuring smile when Niall opened the door of the car. Of course he had to stop right in front of the entrance where everyone could see him. "Bye", he replied and quickly left. Some were staring at him but he expected that. After all Holmes Chapel was a small town and they knew each other; a new student right in the middle of the school year was most likely to get all the attention. Even though he never asked for that; all he wanted was to escape to his class quickly, preferably sitting somewhere in the back where no one could watch him. First he had to go to the secretary and meet the headmaster anyway. If he would guide him to his class there was no chance he wouldn't get any attention. "You have to be Niall Horan, right?", he heard a friendly voice behind him, turning around. "My name is John Egan, I'm the headmaster. Welcome to Holmes Chapel!" Niall shook Mr. Egan's hand and returned the smile. "Nice to meet you", he said in a quite voice. "Just wait a minute, I'll just get you the schedule and then I'll guide you to your class, they're already excited to meet you." Without waiting for a response he left. So everybody already knew that there was a new student - not the start he was hoping for. Before he could worry about it any longer Mr. Egan came back with a sheet of paper in his hands. He quickly explained the schedule to Niall and then shoved him to his class. "No need to be nervous", he assured him, before opening the door.

A young man was standing in front of the class and everyone went quiet. "Listen everyone, this is your new classmate, Niall Horan. He just moved here from Ireland so I hope you'll all give him a warm welcome." Niall felt like back in primary school, like a little child. Some of the students smiled at him, some didn't really seem to care. "Welcome, Niall. Come in and sit down", the teacher said, pointing to the only free seat in the class, in the middle on the right side. He felt everyone watching him and already wanted this day to end. Luckily the teacher, Mr. Freeman, didn't ask him to introduce himself and tried to get back everyone's attention. "What a nerd", he heard someone say behind him, followed by laughter. He flinched but didn't turn around. Only a minute in his new class and they would already make fun of him. Would this ever stop?

Harry looked at that new guy who just entered the classroom. That was the new student? He had been hoping for someone interesting, someone they could invite to their parties but this guy seemed beyond boring. To top it all off he seemed to be a really shy guy, barely looking at anyone and quietly going to his seat right in front of Harry. "What a nerd", Zayn said to his friends Liam and Harry next to him who started laughing. Usually Harry would just ignore this guy but somehow he seemed strange. He didn't even turn around when they were laughing about him though he obviously had heard him. They weren't used to people ignoring them. Zayn wrapped some paper beads and flipped them in Niall's direction. Shortly after Liam and Harry followed his example but still the newbie wouldn't do anything about it. What was wrong with him? Liam just shrugged his shoulders when Harry looked at him with a confused look on his face.

Thankfully they left Niall alone when he didn't react and the first lessons went by quickly. It was already time for lunch break when he finally stood up from his chair. "Watch where you're going", Harry snapped at him when they bumped into each other. "Sorry", he mumbled, picking up his bag. "Don't worry about him, he can be quite okay if he wants to", a guy next to him said, "I'm Louis." At least one person sitting close to him turned out to be nice. "You can join me for lunch, if you want, so you don't have to be alone in the cafeteria", he offered. Niall followed him quietly. "You don't talk much, do you?", Louis laughed. "Sorry... I just don't really know anyone and don't know what to say. I don't like being the new one", Niall confessed, looking around the cafeteria. "You'll be fine, they'll all get used to you being around. Usually people move away from Holmes Chapel rather than moving here... so you're quite a sensation in this boring town." They got in line to get their food and then sat down at a huge table with their classmates.

"Of course Louis is already making friends with the new guy", Zayn said, nudging Harry. "At least he seems to be talking now", Harry said, taking a sip from his coke. "Just leave him alone", Josie, Harry's girlfriend, said, "he's new, I'd also feel uncomfortable. Be nice!" They weren't in the same class but still spent their breaks together. She knew him better than anyone else and therefore could sense that Harry hasn't been nice to him yet. Harry usually wasn't a bad person, he just got bored while being stuck in that town. Despite that he was always the one to get all the attention - he was good looking and most of the girls had a crush on him. He would never admit that he felt like Niall could be some kind of competition - though obviously he was boring and not as good looking; still he was new in town and that made him somehow interesting. He could hear Louis and Niall talking, about where he was coming from and what he had planned for his future. "Are you coming over later today?", Josie suddenly asked. "Sure", he replied, giving her a brief kiss. When he turned back around he saw that Niall was watching them. Before he could ask him why he was watching, the bell rang and made them all stand up, going back to the classroom. "I'll see you later babe", Harry told his girlfriend, giving her a deeper kiss this time.

Niall felt like Harry couldn't be such a bad guy when he saw the way he treated his girlfriend. Somehow he seemed to be a completely different person, so loving and caring. Still he was sure he would laugh at Niall when he heard that he was still a virgin who had never kissed a girl before.

Back in class he felt the paper beads hitting him again. Maybe he should take those good thoughts about Harry back. He kept acting like nothing was happening, hoping they would leave him alone again. They just had biology and Niall had to concentrate anyway - he's never been good at biology or chemistry. Meanwhile he heard Harry, Zayn and Liam whisper behind him; they either didn't care about the subject or they were good at it anyway. He was thinking about asking them to be quite but he didn't want to cause a scene during his first day. He would just leave it that way and study at home. Maybe he could ask to change his seat in some of the next lessons if they wouldn't stop bothering him.

When Niall left the school building he could already see his dad's car. He had written him a text message earlier, asking when he would finish school so he could pick him up. „What was your first day like?", he directly asked when Niall opened the door. Niall didn't really want to answer, knowing that his mother would ask the same. That's why he didn't ask him what his first day at work was like. When they entered the house, Maura came straight to the door, asking them what their day has been like. „It was good, some of my classmates were really nice", he answered, not quite honestly. Of course he wouldn't tell his parents everything, they would just worry about him. „That sounds good, I'm so glad you like it!" Again she ruffled his hair even though she knew he didn't like it. Bobby told them about his day and it sounded like he loved his new job. At least someone was happy with their new life.

Nialll excused himself and went to his room upstairs. He saw Greg in his room but didn't stop to talk with him. Greg would know if he lied about his day or his classmates. He closed his bedroom door and sat down on his desk. It was only his first day and he already didn't want to go back the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Niall's second day and again Harry, Liam and Zayn kept bothering him. He didn't know how long he would actually be able to stand it. „Niall?", he heard his teacher's voice. „Uh... sorry, what?" He hadn't even realized that he got asked a question. He patiently repeated the question and luckily Niall knew the answer. He tried to focus back on the lesson.

„CAN YOU JUST STOP?", he started shouting when they wouldn't stop flipping those paper beads on him. No one had expected Niall to freak out like this and Harry looked at him in surprise. Their teacher, Mrs. Bell, looked something between surprised and angry. „Detention! For both of you!", she said loudly, pointing at Niall and Harry. Amazing - this was the first time Niall got put into detention and he didn't even do a thing. „What? Why? I did nothing wrong!" „You just stood up and started shouting... that's nothing I want in my lessons. No discussion." Niall sighed. Harry was still quiet but Niall didn't want to turn around and face him. He really wasn't looking forward to spending the afternoon with him during detention. „Thanks", he whispered. At least they stopped flipping stuff at him.

„Thanks for getting us into detention... as if I don't have any better things to do after school", Harry ranted when he the lesson was over. „What? That's not my fault. You're the one who is flipping stuff at me and won't stop", Niall shot back. „Calm down, you can't change it anyway", Liam said, pulling his friend away while Zayn simply laughed. „This has to be strange for Harry", Louis laughed next to him, „usually everybody likes him and wants to be friends with him... and now you are the one who is getting him into detention. I think this is the first time this has ever happened." „Great start", Niall sighed. When he turned around he saw Harry still standing in the doorframe, watching him angrily. „I guess we won't become friends anymore", Niall said, waiting for Harry to leave room before moving again.

The rest of the day went by slow and fast at the same time. „Well... good luck", Louis said to Niall before leaving the classroom. Except for Harry and Niall everyone had already left. Harry just opened his mouth to say something when Mrs. Bell came back in. "So... you both stay here one hour, you don't leave the classroom! I'll be checking on you every now and then so you better be here and behave", she told them with a warning glare. She left before they could reply anything. "What? No assignments or anything like that?", Niall asked in confusion. He had expected to get tons of assignments and thought he would have to finish them at home because there wouldn't be enough time. "Am I really supposed to spend an hour with you, just hanging around?", Harry sighed. "Looks like it", Niall simply said. They both stayed quite for a couple of minutes. "Why don't you like me? I mean... you don't even know me", Niall finally asked, avoiding to look in his classmates direction. "What?" "I've only been here for one day, we haven't even really talked and you still don't like me... why?" "I never said I don't like you, what's your problem?" Harry just couldn't understand this guy. "My problem is that you keep mocking me and I don't know what I did wrong." Niall was never the kind of person to stand up for themselves but he couldn't help it right now. He desperately wanted things to change, he couldn't stand being the loser for the rest of his life. If things wouldn't change now, they might never. "I'm sorry, okay? It's not going to happen again", he heard Harry say in a low voice. Niall didn't expect Harry to apologize, what was that for? Was he trying to make a fool out of him again?

Harry didn't really know why he actually apologized to a stranger - and Niall was nothing more than a stranger to him. Usually he wouldn't feel guilty or even tell someone he's sorry but something was different now. Maybe Niall was a nice guy after all and they could be friends? Maybe it was because Niall didn't seem to care about Harry. Normally everyone was after him, trying to be his friend, trying to impress him. He was different and that caught his attention. „Why did you move here?", he suddenly asked Niall, not even realizing what he did at first. Niall looked a bit confused. „My dad got a new job here, that's why... why do you care?" Harry sighed. „Well... not being nice to you is obviously wrong... but being nice is also wrong?" Niall had to confess that this was actually a good point. „It just seems a bit strange that you mocked me all the time and suddenly decide to actually be nice to me." Niall shrugged.

They spent the next minutes in silence, both not knowing what else to say. When Mrs. Bell checked on them she seemed surprised that they were sitting in front of their desks in silence. It was just when she left that Harry tried to start a conversation again. "What is Ireland like? I've always wanted to go but didn't have the opportunity yet." This time Niall decided to just answer the question, without wondering why Harry actually talked to him. "I love Ireland... it's somehow different. Most cities are really beautiful. You should go there one day, it's worth it... though I've never been anywhere else than Ireland and the UK." "You've never been outside here? Seriously? What about summer holidays in Spain or anywhere else?" His parents had always dragged him and his sister to beach holidays in Spain; as a kid he loved to play at the beach but as he got older he started to hate it. "My parents didn't have that much money so we just used to spent our summers at home or somewhere close." Harry suddenly felt sorry for Niall. He never got out of the country because his parents didn't have much money; then his dad must have lost his job just to get a new one in the UK - which means, they had to spent most of their money for the move. "That sucks. Where would you like to go if you had the chance to?" With everything Niall said he somehow got more interesting to Harry. "I've always wanted to go to New Zealand or Australia, maybe it's going to work one day. I'd love to do something like a work and travel year there. Where have you been so far?" „Wow that's quite far for a first real holiday. I've mainly been to Spain or Greece... but Australia would be really cool. We should do the work and travel stuff together." Right when those words left Harry's mouth he wanted to slap himself. What was he talking about? He barely knew this guy but still he suggested going to Australia together. Where was this even coming from? Meanwhile Niall simply smiled.

Of course Niall was surprised about the suggestion but somehow it sounded like a good idea to him. Even though they barely knew each other he could imagine traveling around Australia together with him. „I wouldn't have thought you could be interested in something like work and travel", he said to fill the awkward silence. „Why not?" „I can't really tell... you just don't seem like it." „To be honest... I haven't even thought about it until now. But now that I think about it, it sounds really great... so who knows?" They kept talking about Australia and fantasized about spending a year there until Mrs. Bell came back in. „It looks like you're on good terms now, I'm glad. You can leave, I'll see you tomorrow", she announced and left them alone again. Both boys glanced at the clock on the wall, both just realizing that a hour went by already. Niall had feared that the detention would be horrible and he really didn't want to spent so much time with Harry alone - but now he didn't want to leave. When they left the building they kept talking until they saw Niall's father waiting in front of the building. He had sent him a short text message, telling him that he had to stay a bit longer. Now he regretted it because he would have loved to spent some more time with Harry, talking about the future. They said their goodbyes and separated.

„Hey son", his father simply greeted him when he opened the door. He replied with a quiet hi and waited for his father to freak out. „What happened?", he asked instead, still calm. Niall told him everything about Harry's behavior and also mentioned that they got along quite good during detention. „I think he'll leave me alone now... please don't tell Mum, I don't want her to worry about me", he nearly begged. Of course Maura would be worried and sad but he didn't want that. He was fine. There were times when he had felt worse. „If you're sure that he'll leave you alone from now on I'll agree... but what do you want to tell her?" They both tried to make up a story to tell her and later it seemed like she believed them - even though Greg looked like he didn't.

When Niall went to bed later he kept thinking about the recent day. Maybe he and Harry could become friends now? He desperately wished for a friend here - he barely heard from his old friends from back home. Have they even been real friends? He had been scared that they would forget about him as soon as he left and obviously it became reality. For the first time he felt like he hated his parents for making him move away from Mullingar; and he started to really hate his whole life. What was the point in life anyway? For a minute he could cleary see his funeral in front of him - nobody was there except for the priest who was awkwardly looking around the empty seats. That's what Niall felt like deep inside of him. Though this was a side of him that nobody knew about and he didn't have the intention to tell anyone. Still he was hoping that he would find some friends in Harry and the other guys; hoping that this would change his life.

Liam, Zayn and Harry were standing in front of the school building, waiting for Josie, when Niall arrived. He wasn't sure if he should go over to them or simply go inside without saying a word. After yesterday he still decided to try being friends with them and shyly went in their direction.

„Did you make a new friend?", Zayn mocked Harry when he saw Niall coming towards them. „What? No, why would I?" He should have known that Niall would think they were friends now. „Good morning", he heard him say, awkwardly waving at them. „What do you want?", Harry asked, acting like nothing had happened. Niall stopped, giving him a confused glance. „I thought... welll", Niall was lost for words. „Maybe you should stop thinking so much?", Zayn suggested, laughing. Niall opened his mouth to reply something but he couldn't think of anything. Just before they could make more fun of him he turned around and went inside the building. „What was that about?", Zayn asked, still laughing. „I don't know... just because I had to spent time with him during detention doesn't mean we're friends now." Somehow he didn't want to tell Zayn and Liam that Niall seemed to be a cool guy. Maybe they would think he was crazy as Niall still seemed to be quite boring to everyone else. But they didn't take the time to get to know him; if they would, they would see that he wasn't as boring or stupid as they thought he was. Why did he even care what others thought about him or Niall?

Meanwhile Niall went to their classroom, not knowing what was going on. First Harry is mocking him, then he starts to get actually friendly and then he acts like he doesn't care at all. What was wrong with this guy? Did he do something wrong? This definitely had to be about him as everyone treated him that way. „Are you okay?", Louis asked when he sat down on his chair. He hadn't even noticed that he had already arrived in the classroom and that Louis was there. „Hey... I'm okay, thanks." Niall smiled at him - maybe he could find a new friend in Louis, he seemed to be a nice guy. Hopefully he wouldn't be wrong about him, too.


	3. Chapter 3

During lunch break Niall told Louis everything from the past day - except for the mention of doing a work and travel year together. „Sometimes Harry is a bit strange... like I told you, he can actually be a quite nice guy. I think it's because of Zayn... he's kind of the bad guy and sometimes I think Harry wants to impress him - so does Liam. I actually don't know why they want to be friends with him so bad because I really don't like him." Now that Niall thought about that he had to admit that Harry especially seemed to act like the bad guy while being around Zayn. „I never understood why people change just to try and impress someone. Either he likes them for who they are or he doesn't. That's just stupid." Why hadn't he thought about that before? Now it seemed like it was all Zayn's fault - if it wasn't for him, Harry wouldn't need to act like that. „Why does it bother you that much? Just try to ignore them... you don't need to be friends with them. I get along quite good with Harry and Liam but I don't care about Zayn, maybe you should try the same", Louis suggested. He was right. Why did he care that much? Especially about Harry? „I don't know... I just enjoyed talking to him and spending time with him so I was hoping we could become friends." Niall shrugged.

What he didn't know was that Harry and Josie had a little fight the day before - about Zayn. She didn't like him either and she knew that Harry just mocked the new guy in class because of him. Sometimes she was surprised that her boyfriend could turn into such an asshole as he usually was completely different. They would get into fights about this topic regularly and he just wouldn't understand her problem. Obviously he wouldn't admit to himself that he acted that way.

Even though he had thought about the day nearly the whole night, not being able to sleep. Deep down inside of him he knew that he didn't need Zayn and that he tried to be different just for their friendship. He was scared that he would be all alone and that no one would care about him if he wasn't friends with him, he only wanted to be one of the cool guys. Not like one of those nerds like Niall - though he had to admit that he already liked him more than Zayn. Of course he would never tell that his, so called, friends or anyone else. Therefore he would keep mocking Niall until they found something else to waste their time with.

„For the next project I'm going to put you into groups of two. No, you can't choose your partner, I'll do that for you", Mrs. Bell announced during their last lesson. Most of her students would roll their eyes - of course no one liked that idea. Especially Niall didn't really like it as he still barely knew his classmates and the chance that he had to work with Louis wasn't that big. Hopefully he wouldn't be forced to work with Zayn. „Harry, you're going to work with Niall", Mrs. Bell just announced in this moment. Both of them sighed and rolled their eyes. Louis gave Niall an encouraging smile, hoping that the two of them would get along.

„Well... it looks like we have to meet up after school then. Do you want to come over to my place later? We might as well start today", Harry asked him after class. When Niall looked around he recognized that Zayn had already left, only Liam was standing close. „Uhm... yeah, sounds good. What about 6pm?" „Alright, see you later", Harry said after telling Niall his address. When he left he thought about the mess in his room - he barely bothered to tidy up, not even for Josie, but now he felt like he should at least try to make his room representable. To be honest he was happy about his teachers choice, he was already looking forward to get to know Niall better. That's why he asked him to come over today already.

„What's wrong? Who are you? And what did you do to my son?", Harry's mother, Anne, asked him when she later entered his room and saw him tidy up. „Funny. I just felt like it and I told you that someone from school would come over today", he simply replied while rolling his eyes. „I know but that's never been a reason for you to tidy up. Wait a minute... you're still with Josie, right? Are we talking about another girl that's coming over?" She looked at him suspiciously. „What? Of course I'm still with Josie... and no, we're talking about Niall and he's obviously not a girl." Harry was annoyed - he couldn't even explain to himself why he was acting so strange, how should he explain it to someone else then? Luckily Anne left him alone.

He couldn't remember the last time that he even tried to tidy up his room but usually he would get bored after only a couple of minutes and do something else. Today he totally forgot the time and suddenly he heard the doorbell.

When Niall walked to Harry's house he was excited on the one hand and nervous on the other. He didn't know in what mood Harry would be and therefore couldn't foresee the way he would treat him. All he wanted was for Harry to at least treat him normal - without making fun of him. He took a deep breath and rang the bell. Inside he heard footsteps and when the door opened he saw a beautiful woman in the doorframe. „Hey, you have to be Niall. I'm Anne, Harry's mother", she nicely introduced herself, holding out her hand. „It's nice to meet you", Niall said and smiled at her, shaking her hand. Behind her he could hear someone running down the stairs. He peeked inside and saw Harry's curly head. „Hey Niall, come in", he shouted, waving him inside. „Do you want anything to drink?", Anne asked before he followed Harry upstairs. „Well, don't worry, I'll bring you something", she said before he could answer, leaving him alone. He started running up the stairs and found Harry in a doorframe, waiting for him. He followed him inside and looked around. He didn't know how to imagine his room but he thought it would be messier. Though it kind of looked like someone just cleaned it up recently but he didn't ask him about that. He sat down on the huge bed where he saw a couple of books and a laptop. „I already prepared everything, hope you don't mind", Harry said while sinking down next to him. „No, that's cool." They were shortly interrupted by Anne who brought them some hot chocolate with marshmallows. „Oh my god, that's amazing!", Niall gushed after taking a sip. Harry smiled at him, holding his own cup in both hands. The silence was kind of uncomfortable but he didn't really know what to say. Instead of starting smalltalk he decided to start working on their project and grabbed some books.

They both worked together as a team for over an hour, not even realizing how fast time went by. „I seriously don't know if I ever worked that much for a simple school project before", Harry said with a disbelieving look on the clock. „I guess that's good then?", Niall asked with a huge grin on his face. All Harry could do was look at him - the big smile, showing off all his front teeth. The way his eyes shined with joy. He never saw anyone who smiled that much and seemed to be so happy. Right now it felt like he could forget the whole world around him. What was going on with him? „Harry?", Niall asked, his smile fading a bit. „Uh... yeah, that's definitely good", he quickly responded, making his new friend smile again. Could he really call him a friend? If they were going back to school tomorrow and Zayn would find out how good they got along, he would definitely make fun of them and he really didn't want that. Still he asked himself why he cared so much about this Irish guy.

„Well I guess I'm going home now... maybe we could meet up again tomorrow after school?" They both stood up and Harry simply nodded, still lost in his thoughts. „Bye Mrs. Styles", Niall shouted when they reached the front door. Anne quickly showed up in the hallway. „Just call me Anne, please! It was nice to meet you, hope to see you again. You're always welcome", she smiled at him. Of course she thought that he was a good friend of her son but Harry felt slightly uncomfortable. He didn't want to explain his strange friendship with the new guy in school so he would just stay quiet.

„Now you look like the Niall I used to know", Greg greeted him when he got back home, still smiling, „what happened?" „What? Nothing." „Oh come on... did you meet a girl?" Greg winked at him. „Shut up, I didn't meet any girl. I'm just happy that it seems like I'm finally making friends... Holmes Chapel doesn't seem to be as bad as I thought it would be." With that said he rushed to his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Hopefully Harry and him could really be friends one day. He just wished he had a friend back home to talk about all of this but he hadn't heard from any of them yet. They might have already forgotten him.

The next days they would always meet up after school to work and talk or watch TV afterwards, constantly growing closer to each other. At school Harry would still avoid Niall most of the time, still hanging around with Zayn. At least Niall found a really good friend in Louis - they even wanted to meet at the weekend and go to the cinema together. He even told him about the afternoons with Harry because he felt like he could trust him. Louis didn't understand Harry's behaviour either; he didn't know him like that. Maybe it was just a strange phase he was in.


	4. Chapter 4

„Do you see that girl over there?", Louis asked when he was in the cinema with Niall. Niall looked in the direction Louis was pointing to. „Which one?" There were two girls coming in, both laughing about something. „The one with the dark hair." They were both coming closer to the last row where they were already sitting. „Yeah, what about her?" Niall looked at his friend who shyly smiled with red cheeks. „That's Danielle... I... well, I kind of have a crush on her since first grade", he responded. „Let me guess... she doesn't know?" Louis only had time to shake his head before Danielle and her friend were in front of them. „Louis, hey. How are you doing?", she happily asked, making him stay up to give him a hug. She then looked at Niall and introduced herself, holding out her hand for him to shake. „I'm Danielle, nice to meet you." „I'm Niall, nice to meet you, too." „Sorry but we're going over there. See you around", she waved at them and left to some free seats on the left side where two other girls were already waiting. „Why didn't you tell her yet?", Niall asked when he was sure that they wouldn't hear him. „I don't know... don't think she's interested. She just broke up with her last boyfriend a couple of days ago", he shrugged. „Well if you want it to work you have to tell her... though I shouldn't be the one to give you any relationship advices." „Why shouldn't you?" „I don't have any experience with relationships or anything like that." Louis looked a bit surprised. „You didn't have a girlfriend yet?" Niall felt the heat rising up in his cheeks. „No... I haven't even been in love or had a crush on someone." Now Louis looked like this couldn't even be possible. „What? You've never had those butterflies in your stomach while looking at a girl? There hasn't been one you just couldn't get out of your mind? You've never felt like you just want to hold some girl or kiss her? Nothing?" Niall shrugged and suddenly felt stupid. „No, never." But somehow Harry came to his mind - why did he think of Harry right now? Though he had to admit that he has never seen such beautiful green eyes. „Okay, you obviously have someone in your mind, don't you?" Louis smirked. „What? No, I don't." He would never admit who actually was on his mind right now because it wasn't like he had a crush on him. „Seriously. I've just tried to think of a situation where I might have felt like that... but there isn't any." His friend still didn't really believe him but as the lights turned off and the movie was about to start, he didn't ask any more questions. Though now Niall could no longer concentrate on the movie in front of him.

Meanwhile Harry was at home with Josie, both of them lying on the bed and watching a movie. „Hello?! What's wrong? You look like you're lost in thought all the time", Josie softly poked him. „Nothing, I'm fine", Harry mumbled. Somehow he was thinking about Niall again. He couldn't explain why this guy influenced him that much. He felt like he wanted to change and be friends with him. What would be wrong about that? Though Zayn would definitely make fun of him and he didn't like it when people did that to him.

The next two weeks kept going on the same - they would meet up after school most of the time and during school Harry would mostly ignore Niall when Zayn was around. Niall got more and more insecure though he wouldn't ask Harry what this was all about. He did ask him once but he ignored the question. At least he was still nice to him when they met.

Niall had to admit that he was really happy when he could spent time with Harry and he enjoyed every minute. Despite those moments he started to feel worse. He had already been depressed back in Mullingar though he never told anyone about it. Right now he felt like he couldn't take it any longer when he was alone, feeling like he was going to explode. Right in this moment he wished that he had someone to talk to. He felt alone. No one really cared about him and maybe no one ever would. The tears wouldn't stop falling and he pressed his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. His head rested on his knees, his body shaking from his sobs. The worst thing about his situation was that the whole word kept turning. No matter how much he cried, it didn't stop.

He actually felt like he consisted of two persons - the „happy" Niall he tried to be at school and the „real" Niall that he was right in this moment.

When he woke up the next morning his eyes were still a bit red and swollen. Today was the last day where they had to work on their huge school project - if they would have worked on it properly they would already be finished; but they always ended up watching TV or playing some stupid games on Harry's Playstation.

No one noticed Niall's eyes - though he didn't expect anyone to. All the time he kept thinking about how things would change between Harry and him if they would no longer meet. He didn't want this to end as he got used to spending his afternoons with Harry. Somehow he felt comfortable with him and was able to forget about everything else in his life. Though he still didn't really know if he could call him a friend.

When Harry arrived in class and saw Niall he directly recognized that something was wrong; that Niall had obviously been crying. He wanted to ask him what was wrong but as no one knew they were kind of friends he didn't say a word. Maybe he could ask him later when they would meet. Thinking about that made him kind of sad already. Just as Niall he didn't want to miss those afternoons. It felt like he had already changed for the better since he got to know the blonde guy; even though it wasn't easy to admit that.

„Guys I have some bad news", Zayn announced during their lunch break. „What's wrong?", Liam asked with his mouth full of food. „My parents are getting divorced. I'm staying with my mum and we're moving to Liverpool after christmas." Usually Zayn barely showed any emotions but right now he looked sad. Thinking about it Harry realized that he actually never saw Zayn sad or crying. „Are you serious?", Liam asked after swallowing his food. „Yeah... but you know what? I'll throw a huge party before I leave!" Everyone knew about Zayn's parties; even though most of them weren't of full age there was usually a lot of alcohol, cigarettes and sometimes even drugs. „I sure hope so", Harry replied. Josie quietly glanced at them, not saying a word. She was glad that Zayn would leave but she didn't really want Harry to go to that party. Luckily she trusted him as she definitely wouldn't go there. It was only week until Zayn would left so they already started to plan everything. Both of his parents would be out of town so there wouldn't be anyone to bother them - though even if they would be home, Harry was quite sure they wouldn't really care. It felt strange to know that Zayn would be leaving as things would definitely change. The only question was if things would change for the worse or the better. Surely Josie and Niall would hope that they would change for the better; that Harry wouldn't feel like he had to change the way he was just to be cool enough for Zayn.

As Zayn was quite popular the news were spreading like wildfire. Louis was the one to tell Niall the news. „What? That is amazing", he cheered happily. Louis gave him a weird glance. „I knew you didn't like him but I didn't know that those news would make you this happy", he laughed, shaking his head a little. „It's just... well maybe Harry is going to act differently in school then and we can finally be friends?" Niall shrugged his shoulders; he didn't really plan to say this out loud. „What is it about Harry anyway? Do you have a crush on him or anything like that?" „What? No! No, of course not!", Niall fired back in shock, „I just like him as a friend, don't be absurd!" Louis laughed out loud again. „Calm down! It was only a joke! Though I'm not sure it's really a joke now I see your reaction." This time Niall didn't respond anything. He didn't know why he cared so much about Harry - but he didn't have a crush on him, right? He never had a crush on anyone - why would he have a crush on Harry now? He didn't even realize that their teacher came in and started their lesson as he was lost in thoughts. He turned around slightly to look at Harry. What was this funny feeling he felt inside of him? When Harry laughed about something he couldn't help but smile. This couldn't be something like love, could it?

After their break they had to do the presentation of their project. Niall was quite nervous as he didn't like to speak in front of people but Harry was calm enough for the both of them. „Don't worry, it'll be fine", he assured the blonde guy. They stood in front of the class and started the computer. When Niall looked up he could see that everyone was already looking at them. Why did they have to be the first ones to do the presentation? „Hey, calm down", Harry whispered. Niall didn't even realize that he was nervously tapping with his fingers on the desk. „Sorry." He tried not to look up. „Are you ready?", Mrs. Bell asked while sitting down on Niall's desk. Both of the guys nodded. Zayn was making funny faces behind Mrs. Bell's back, trying to get the boy's attention. Harry did a good job with the first part and kept ignoring Zayn. When Niall started he stuttered at first but somehow managed to stay focused for the rest of the part. Harry gave him a small smile when they were both finished. „That was really good", Mrs. Bell said while going back to the front, as if she didn't expect that. Niall sat back down on his desk and inhaled deeply, glad that they were done. They listened to the others and soon the lesson was over. From the corner of his eye he saw Zayn and Liam leaving, Louis was waiting next to him. „Niall?", he suddenly heard Harry ask. He turned around and looked in those beautiful green eyes. He gave him a questioning look without saying anything. „I thought we could maybe go and get some hot chocolate or anything to like... celebrate that we got such a good grade?" Harry kind of seemed shy and looked at the ground. „Yeah sounds good to me", Niall replied in surprise and smiled. „Well have fun then", Louis just said with a smirk while turning around to leave.

They went outside together and told Niall's dad that they wanted to go to some cafe. Luckily his dad wasn't angry with him - maybe he was just glad that his son finally made friends. Together they walked to a small cafe and found a place somewhere in the corner. „I think I'm going to miss those afternoons somehow", Niall said without really thinking about it. Harry looked up at him and didn't reply in the first seconds. „Me too, I got quite used to it. Maybe we can keep that up and still meet after school every now and then?", he then suggested. Niall didn't expect that but happily agreed. „That would be cool!" They awkwardly smiled at each other. „Did you hear about the party from Zayn? You're coming aren't you?" „Well... I don't know if he actually wants me to be there. I don't think he likes me that much", Niall shrugged. „Don't worry about that, there are going to be tons of people anyway. It's going to be fun, you should come." Niall was wondering why Harry wanted him to be there. Thanks to all the things he had experienced in the past he felt like he just wanted him to be there to make fun of him. „Maybe", he just said, knowing that he wouldn't go. „Anyway... are you okay? I saw that you've been crying this morning...", Harry finally asked when he had the courage to. Niall was surprised that Harry recognized that and just shook his head. „I'm fine, thanks for asking."


	5. Chapter 5

Next day at school Louis looked at Niall curiously. „Did you have a good time yesterday?", he asked. Niall rolled his eyes at him. „Harry actually invited me to Zayn's party", he said without reacting to the teasing. „Really? Are you going?" Louis also seemed a bit surprised by the invitation. „I don't think so... I'm quite sure that Zayn wouldn't want me to be there." His friend just shook his head. Why did Niall have to think that much? „Whatever?! I bet he will be too drunk to notice anyway." Niall grimaced; he had never tried any alcohol yet and didn't understand why everyone needed alcohol to have fun. „I won't know anyone and as you might have noticed I'm not the most outgoing person." „Well... you know me. We could go together." „I have to ask my parents first anyway... I'll think about it." Now it was Louis' turn to roll his eyes. „I thought you desperately wanted to be friends with Harry? Then you should really go." He shrugged and ended the topic. Meanwhile Niall couldn't stop thinking about it. He has never been to any party as no one had ever invited him. Therefore he was quite sure that he would feel somehow out of place, like he didn't belong there. It was a good point though that Harry would be there; maybe it would change the way he thought about him. Maybe he should go there if his parents agreed? He could always leave if he wanted to.

Harry and Niall met once before the party. Niall still wasn't sure if he should go though his parents allowed him to. „Why don't you want to go there? I don't really get it", Harry said while laying on his bed. „Don't know... I've never been to any parties before", Niall finally confessed, feeling like the biggest loser of all time. „What? Are you serious? It's about time then!" Harry looked at him with big eyes, obviously really shocked. It only took a couple of minutes more until Niall was finally convinced. He just couldn't resist those begging green eyes. What was this about? He couldn't tell what eye colour Louis had but he got get lost in Harry's eyes? „Are you okay, mate? You look like you're making some life decisions right now", Harry laughed while playfully shaking Niall's shoulder with one hand. Niall jumped back from the sudden contact. This reaction just made Harry laugh even more. „What did you say?", Niall asked while trying to act like nothing has happened. „Forget about it." Harry still smiled and turned back to the TV.

Back home Niall was still confused; what was going on with him? When Harry touched him it felt like electricity was running through his body. He had never felt anything like it. „What's on your mind?", Greg asked when he saw Niall on his bed. „Well... how do you know you like someone?", Niall quietly asked, not looking at his brother. „Aaaawww my little brother is finally in love! Who is she?", he teased him, sitting down on the bed. Niall turned deep red and tried to hide his face behind his hands. „Stop it, Greg! Don't make fun of me! I'm just wondering." The older one gave him a loving smile. „You wanna tell me about it?" Niall wouldn't tell him about Harry but he wanted to find out what his feelings actually meant. „Well... there is this person I really like and at first I only wanted to be friends with them. I just feel like there's something more now... like... when that person just touched me it felt like electricity running through my whole body and I got goosebumps. I couldn't tell you about the eye colour of any of my friends but I know their's and I love those eyes... it's like I can get really lost in them and forget about everything else", Niall tried to explain, feeling like a complete idiot. Greg just smirked and shook his head a little. „It's really obvious that you like that girl, Niall. There's no need to deny it. Maybe you should just ask her out?" Niall let out a little laugh. „Well, no, that's not going to happen." „Why not? Don't be so shy!" Of course he wouldn't ask Harry out. He didn't even want to think about his reaction if he did. When his brother realized that Niall didn't want to talk about it any further he left him alone. „If you need any adivce, I'll be glad to help", Greg winked.

That night was the first time that Niall dreamed about Harry. It was summer time and they were together at some sea, just sitting next to each other and watching the sunset. Harry was holding Niall who had rested his head on the other one's shoulder. „I'm so glad that we met", Harry whispered while rubbing his boyfriends' arm slowly. Niall nodded, enjoying this moment too much to say anything. When the older one moved he had to lift his head again, looking right at him. „I love you", Harry said while slowly leaning closer to him. „I love you back", he hushed, closing the gap between them. Harry's lips felt soft and the feeling of him so close gave him goosebumps. It felt like millions of butterflies were flying around in his stomach. Just before the kiss got more intense he woke up. He looked around only to find himself in his bedroom. He sighed while rubbing his eyes. Seriously, what the hell was suddenly going on here?

The rest of the week went by quite fast and it was already time for the big party. Everyone seemed to be excited about it but Niall just got more confused. He couldn't stop thinking about Harry - especially since the first dream he had. Of course he didn't tell anyone about it though Louis really seemed to sense something. He would drop some comments about Harry every now and then and smiled or laughed when Niall blushed; he couldn't control that. Luckily he didn't say anything when Harry was actually around; otherwise things would get really embarrassing. He promised to pick Niall up at home so they could go to Zayn together. The party would start around 7pm but they decided they'd show up a little later. The house from the Malik's wasn't that far away so they could easily walk; even though it was freezing cold outside. „Are you excited? This is your first party ever!", Louis shouted when they turned around the corner. „I don't really want to think about it until we arrive there", Niall shrugged, feeling like a complete mess inside of him. Somehow Louis thought that Niall's behaviour was really funny. Niall had the feeling that this night would turn out to be a total disaster.

When they arrived it seemed like everybody was already there. Niall hadn't expected the place to be that crowded; obviously there were also a lot of people who were older and didn't even go to their school. „It's always like that... Zayn has some older friends and they will bring their friends. That's actually were all the alcohol is coming from", Louis explained when he saw his friends' expression. The door to the house was open so they could easily enter. They walked straight to the huge living room where most people seemed to be. Niall's eyes directly fell on Harry who was sitting on the sofa with some girls. Luckily he didn't see Zayn anywhere around. Louis followed Niall's glance and smiled. „Of course you would spot him out of hundreds of people." Niall turned red again, trying to act like he didn't know what his friend was talking about. „Niall!", Harry shouted right in that moment, waving. His voice already was a bit slurry. They slowly walked over to him. Niall awkwardly waved at him, not really knowing how to act. „How are you doing? You want anything to drink?" There were quite a lot of bottles on the table; all different types of vodka, tequila and other booze. „I'm fine, thanks", the youngest replied while sitting down. Louis got himself a cup and poured down some coke and vodka. „Where's Josie?", Niall asked while looking around, searching for Harry's girlfriend. „She' not here... she's never coming to these parties", Harry shrugged like he didn't care. „Why not?" He asked himself why Harry wanted him to come here when even his girlfriend didn't like those parties. „Don't know... she's a big party pooper." He laughed about his comment and Niall wondered what was going on with him. At school they always seemed to be in love but right now it didn't really sound like a happy relationship. He decided not to ask any further questions. Most of the time they were talking about school stuff but Niall stayed quiet the whole time. He didn't know what to say and he didn't want everyone's attention. Just when Niall started to wonder where Zayn was he showed up and the living room. „What is this nerd doing here?", he slurred, pointing at Niall. The blonde one looked a bit shocked, not knowing what to do. „Leave him alone", Harry just replied without even looking up. „No, I won't! I don't want him here and I didn't even invite him. You better leave now", he kept shouting. Tears were already filling Niall's eyes. Before he could think about it any further he stood up and left the building. When he heard that someone was following him he started running, scared that it would be Zayn. „Niall, please stop!", he suddenly heard the voice from the curly haired boy. He stopped without turning around. „Leave me alone, Harry", he quietly said. „No, I won't." He walked towards him and turned him around. He looked in those deep blue eyes and felt sorry for this guy. „I'm sorry... Zayn can be such an asshole sometimes. Please come back to the party, I'll talk to him." Niall shook his head. He definitely didn't want to go back there. „Please?", he begged with puppy eyes. The Irish guy inhaled deeply while closing his eyes. Why did he have to do that to him? He just wanted to be left alone. „Why are you crying?" Niall touched his cheeks, surprised when he felt tears. He hadn't even realized that he was crying. As he didn't have an answer for that he just shrugged, looking down at the ground. „Don't cry, it makes me sad... you look so much better when you smile." Did Harry really say that? He looked up at him in surprise. Before he could reply anything he felt that Harry dragged him to the side, pushing him against a wall. Their faces were only a couple of centimetres apart. „What are you doing?" Niall felt like he couldn't breathe. Harry's hands were rested on each side of Niall's head against the wall. He didn't reply anything and just leaned in closer; slowly closing his eyes. Niall could nearly feel the other one's lips on his. Somehow he couldn't think any longer. It felt like they stood like this forever. „Harry", he breathed, also closing his eyes. Again he wouldn't get a response. Just then he felt Harry's lips touch his own. The feeling was something he has never experienced before. He remembered the electricity he felt when Harry touched his shoulder but right now the feeling got even more intense. The butterflies were going crazy and he felt like he was going to explode any minute. He reached for Harry's hips to steady himself as he was scared that he might pass out. That made him move even closer, one hand moving to Niall's cheeks. Harry's tongue then brushed Niall's lower lip, making him moan quietly. When he opened his mouth Harry's tongue carefully entered, making Niall squeeze his hips tightly. Of course he had thought about what his first kiss would be like but he never imagined it to be this amazing. He wished that this moment would never end, hoping that the world would stop turning right now. Their tongues were slowly playing with each other and made Niall lose his mind. Harry's lips felt even softer than in his recent dream. When Harry drew back Niall sighed before opening his eyes again. He saw a big grin on Harry's face and couldn't help but smile himself. „Are you coming back to the party with me?", he asked while stroking Niall's cheek with his thumb. As the younger one couldn't think he simply nodded, not able to move or talk.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry took Niall's hand in his while walking back to the house. Niall was still confused about what had just happened but he still didn't say anything; afraid that this might ruin everything. Why did Harry kiss him? Could he be that drunk? Did he even know what he was doing? Meanwhile Harry was wondering about it himself; he had acted on impulse, not really thinking about what he was doing. Right in that moment he desperately wanted to kiss this cute Irish guy in front of him and so he did. He didn't know how he would react but he still had to try. Now he knew that is was definitely worth it; this might have even been the best kiss he ever had. What did this blue eyed boy do to him? When they entered the house again he let go of Niall's hand; he didn't want anyone to know about what had happened. They went back to the living room where everyone looked at them in surprise. Obviously they didn't expect them to come back. Zayn turned around when most of the people went quiet. „What the hell is going on with you, Styles?", he shouted angrily, „what part of I don't want him here didn't you understand?" Harry rolled his eyes, staying in front of Niall to protect him. „What's your problem, Malik?" Niall knew that he should have just gone home. It surprised him that Harry stood up for him though. „I told you, don't you listen? You better leave now", he said in a now calm voice. Instead of leaving, Harry walked a bit closer to him. „Then make me leave." „What the...?", Niall heard Louis' voice behind him. He slowly turned around. „I don't think I've ever seen them like that", Louis continued, his eyes not leaving the guys. Niall still wasn't able to speak. When he turned back around Harry and Zayn were standing right in front of each other. By now everyone was silently standing around them in a circle. Before Zayn could say anything more Harry threw the first punch, hitting the other one hard in the face. Zayn moaned in surprise, his head falling back a bit. He felt the taste of blood in his mouth and lifted his hand up to his lips. „You shouldn't have done that", he said under his breath, glancing at him angrily. Niall wanted to go over to Harry and drag him back but Louis stopped him. Right in that moment Zayn pushed Harry who stumbled a bit. That was the moment when the fight really started. People started to cheer for either Zayn or Harry but Niall stood there with his mouth slightly open. First Harry was running after him, then they kissed and now he was fighting one of his friends because of him? Blood was now streaming out of Zayn's nose which was obviously broken. Harry's knuckles were damaged and bleeding. Niall was scared that Harry might get really hurt from Zayn who seemed to be furious now. „STOP IT!", he screamed as loud as he could. Both boys stopped in their tracks and everyone turned around to watch the shy blonde guy. „Please, stop", he whispered while tears were filling his eyes. Harry walked towards him, looking sorry. He was standing with his back to Zayn who wanted to take the opportunity to hit another punch; luckily Liam was holding him back. „Let's go", Harry said, his hand on Niall's back. No one dared to follow them, they were all watching Zayn who tried to get free from Liam. „Don't you dare ever talking to me again, Styles! You're the biggest asshole I've ever met, fuck you!" Harry and Niall didn't turn around.

„Are you okay?", Niall finally asked when they were outside. Harry seemed to have sobered up a little and was wiping some blood away from his face; though he looked a lot better than Zayn. „I'm fine", he replied without looking at Niall, „I'll take you home, okay?" They were silently walking back to Niall's house, both lost in thoughts. The younger one desperately wanted to know why Harry had kissed him and why he fought Zayn but he just couldn't get out the words. When they arrived in front of the house they finally looked at each other. „Thank you, for taking me home", Niall quietly said. Harry showed a small smile and nodded. „Good night, Niall", he said before turning around. Deep inside of him Niall had wished that they would kiss again and was a bit disappointed. „Good night, Harry", he whispered, knowing that he couldn't hear him. His parents were already asleep so he directly went to his bedroom.

Both of the guys stood awake the whole night, not able to find any rest. Harry couldn't understand himself why he had kissed Niall and why it freaked him out that Zayn didn't want him to be at the party. It was somehow like he didn't know himself any longer. And he was confused that Niall had kissed him back. Why hadn't he pushed him away, freaking out? Could Niall be gay? Did he now think that Harry was gay and maybe in love with him? He didn't really know what he was supposed to do now. On the one hand he wanted to talk to him and explain everything; on the other hand he couldn't explain something he didn't even understand himself. What would Josie say if she ever found out? He couldn't even believe that he somehow had cheated on her.

Meanwhile Niall couldn't forget the kiss and how he felt in that moment. Maybe that has been the best he has ever felt in his entire life. He absently touched his lips with a small smile on them. Was there a chance that Harry had feelings for him? Would he even remember the next day when he was sober again?

„Good morning", his mother said when Niall came into the kitchen the next morning, „did you have fun last night?" He nodded and smiled when he thought about the kiss. She left him alone with Greg who winked at him. „I know that smile, little brother", he teased him. Niall couldn't help but blush. „Did you kiss her?" Now his skin colour turned deep red. „Oooohh you did! I want to hear everything about it!" There was no need to deny anything as he wasn't good at lying. „There's not much to tell about...", he was scared that he could accidentally tell his brother that he actually kissed a guy and not a girl. „When did it happen? Where? Who took the first step? Come on, Niall", he laughed while nudging his brother's shoulder. „Well... we went outside and then we kissed. It felt good... really good", he couldn't help but smile. „Are you two together now? What's her name anyway?" „No, we're not... I don't know, it's a bit difficult." Greg gave him a sceptic glance. Niall suddenly turned sad. „I somehow wish we could be together", he whispered. „Maybe everything will turn out the way you want it to be..."

On christmas eve they were both together with their families. Niall was sitting in front of the christmas tree, carefully unwrapping his presents. He already knew that he got a new acoustic guitar when he entered the living room and saw the huge present and its shape. He got really excited as he really wanted to get a new one. „Thank you!", he nearly screamed while looking at it. He didn't wait for any response and started playing, a huge grin on his face. His parents looked at him in a proud way; all they wanted for their son was to be happy. They knew that something had changed; Niall somehow behaved differently but they didn't want to ask him. Though they thought it might be a secret girlfriend he didn't want to tell them about yet. Niall meanwhile played a love song, thinking about Harry all the time. Did he spent the holidays with Josie? In his head he saw a picture of them in front of a christmas tree, cuddling and smiling at each other. Greg and their parents watched him in silence; Maura had some happy tears in her eyes. She had the feeling that finally everything would turn out okay in the end.

Meanwhile Harry was also thinking about Niall. Josie had just written him a text message, letting him know that she missed him. As he couldn't say that he missed her too he just didn't reply. He couldn't help but think about Niall the whole time. He'd most likely be with his family too, not even thinking about Harry. In some strange moment he had even been thinking about getting Niall a christmas present - how crazy was that? He still barely knew the guy. Though everything he wanted was to get to know him even better. There had to be something special about the new kid when he was even willing to destroy his friendship with Zayn. Had Zayn even been a real friend? Why did he want to be one of his friends in the first place anyway? Now he was glad that Zayn left and that they would never meet again. They hadn't talked again yet and he didn't even feel like he wanted to. Of course his parents had seen the black eye and asked him a lot of question. His only answer had been that he had to protect a good friend. They didn't ask that much questions afterwards though they knew that there was something he didn't want to tell. Anne hat the feeling that something was going on in her son's mind all along anyway. Still she knew that he would talk to her if he wanted to, all he needed was some time. He wished that he had Niall's phone number so he could at least write him a little message. Would he even answer? Why was he even thinking about him that much? When he looked out of the window he could see snow falling down. „SNOW!", he yelled and ran outside. He stood in the backyard in his hoodie and looked up to the sky. The snowflakes were falling on his face and he smiled a little. One thing he knew for sure: Right now Niall saw the same snowflakes; maybe also standing outside and watching them.

Indeed Niall was also standing in the backyard. He had his arms wrapped around himself as he was freezing but he didn't want to miss the first snow that year. „Wouldn't it be great to have the one you love around you right now?", Greg quietly teased him, nudging his shoulder. It definitely would be amazing but maybe Harry was standing outside right now, holding Josie tight.

After christmas Niall met with Louis. He didn't know what exactly happened during the party recently but Niall had decided that he wanted to tell him. He just needed someone to talk to. „So... are you finally going to tell me what was going on?" Niall took in a deep breath. „You already know that Harry followed me... and... well...", it wasn't as easy as he wanted it to be, „I know this might sound crazy but he..." „Jesus, Niall, just tell me!", Louis interrupted, losing all patience. „Okay, sorry... Harry kissed me... and it was amazing. We went back to the party afterwards and that's when the fight happened. Then he brought me home and just left... we haven't talked since then." Niall felt relief when everything was finally out. Louis glanced at him with his eyes wide open. „Harry kissed you? Wait a minute... does that mean he's gay? Are you gay? What the hell is going on here?" Niall could definitely understand that Louis was beyond confused. „I actually don't know... he's still with Josie, isn't he? Maybe I'm gay, or bi, I can't really tell, to be honest. Before that kiss I have never really thought about it... I just wasn't interested in any girls but I can't say that I've been interested in guys. This is just confusing. All I know is that I loved the kiss and that I wanted him to kiss me again before he left. Right now I just don't know what to do." HIs friend didn't respond directly. Niall already thought that he had a problem with him being gay when he finally started talking: „Honestly, I don't know what to say. I don't have any problem with you being gay, that's for sure. I just don't know what's going on with Harry... I mean... I never thought that he could do anything like that? Somehow he betrayed his girlfriend with what he did... and that's why I don't really have any advice." „Don't worry... it felt good to at least talk to someone about it", Niall gave him a small smile. On the one hand he had been hoping that Louis would be able to help him but on the other hand he already knew that this wasn't a normal situation. „You know what? You should come to our party on New Year's eve. We're going to celebrate at Liam's place and I think Harry will be there." Niall nodded, even though he guessed that this time Josie would be there. Did he really want to spent that day with the couple, watching them kiss at midnight?


	7. Chapter 7

Today was finally the day when Niall would most likely meet Harry again. Somehow he was nervous. How would Harry react if he saw him? Would he ignore him? He stood in front of his wardrobe and couldn't decide what to wear. When Louis arrived he still hadn't found an outfit. „What is so difficult about finding something to wear?" Louis stood in the doorframe and watched his friend with his arms crossed. „I just want to look good", he shrugged, holding up two shirts. „You mean you want to look good for Harry?", Louis winked and pointed to a shirt that was on the bed, „take that one with those dark jeans." Niall got dressed and didn't really look satisfied when he looked in the mirror. Louis rolled his eyes. „If we don't leave now we might not make it there this year." Niall gave himself some last glance in the mirror and finally gave in. „Okay, let's go then." They said goodbye to Maura, Bobby and Greg before they left. It felt strange for either Niall and his parents to be without each other for New Year's eve as they would usually celebrate together. Greg would always celebrate with some friends but decided to stay at home this year since he hadn't made that many friends yet. „Have fun", his older brother said with a smirk. Niall was glad that he didn't say anything about his (non-existent) girlfriend.

Thanks to Niall they were quite late and everyone seemed to be already there. „Sorry it took us so long... Niall couldn't decide what to wear", Louis told Liam. „I'm glad you made it here before midnight then", he laughed in response and Niall sighed as Louis had made a similar joke before. They went to the living room were most of the people were. Niall's glance fell directly on Harry who was sitting next to Josie, his arm on her shoulder. He inhaled deeply and tried to look away but he somehow couldn't. „You okay?", Louis whispered when he noticed. His friend simply nodded. He was disappointed that Josie was there. Last time Harry had told him that she wasn't going to any parties and he had hoped that she therefore wouldn't be here tonight. Of course this was a different kind of party and she wouldn't leave Harry alone; especially as it wasn't as crowded as Zayn's party. They went over to the other's and Harry silently locked eyes with Niall for a second. Niall felt like his heart stopped beating right in that moment. Before he could find any words to say Harry looked away again. Niall's mood dropped even more right then. „Hey guys, how are you doing?", Josie asked when she recognized them and smiled. Niall felt bad for not liking her but how could he like her when she had everything he wanted? „Fine, thanks... how are you?", he still sad, trying to fake a smile. „I'm good", she put her head down on Harry's shoulder and never stopped smiling. He could feel that Harry was trying hard not to look at him. Maybe he should have just stayed home. This was possibly the worst way to end and start the year. Just when he thought it couldn't get worse he saw that Harry lifted her chin up to kiss her. He turned around to talk with Louis and saw his friend hugging Danielle. Amazing - now he was left alone with the group and he didn't know what to do, say or where to look at. „You want something to drink?", Liam asked and handed him a cup. Usually Niall didn't drink but he thought today was a good day to start. „Yeah, thanks", he said before taking a sip. He directly coughed as he wasn't used to any alcohol at all. „Sorry, maybe I should have told you that there's quite a lot of vodka in it", Liam laughed with an apologetic look on his face. He definitely wouldn't need much until he was drunk. From the corner of his eye he saw Harry looking at him. He tried not to stare back and took another sip. „So, Niall, do you like Holmes Chapel?", Josie then asked, seeing that Niall was kind of left alone. „Uhm... yeah, it's okay here, I guess", he replied, not knowing what else to say. Why did Josie of all people had to be so nice to him? „That's good. Though you really have to miss Ireland, don't you?" He nodded sadly. His life would be totally different if they could've just stayed in Ireland. He would have never met Harry and would never have those weird feelings. Maybe everything would be better now? Though he knew that the mobbing had been worse back there and that things would most likely not be that much better. „I really do miss Ireland... but I didn't have that much friends there so it's okay", he shrugged. „I can't believe that, you seem to be a real nice guy. I only heard good things about you from Harry", she responded. Harry's face turned a bit red and he focused on the ceiling, not wanting to look at Niall right now. „Thanks", Niall just said, turning red himself. The smalltalk kept going a little while and every now and then Harry would also say something; most of the time he just kept quietly stroking his girlfriend's shoulder.

Niall met some new people he didn't know yet and everyone seemed to be really nice. It was like things were already changing now that Zayn had left. Luckily no one talked about Zayn or the fight at the party. Maybe they all wanted to pretend like nothing has happened now that Zayn was gone anyway. Not that Niall would mind, of course. Louis and Danielle were sitting with them now, sitting close to each other. „So, why don't you have a girlfriend?", a guy called David asked him. Niall took a last sip from his cup that was now empty. „I don't know... I'm not really interested in any girls", he shyly answered. „Not at all? Are you gay?" Niall's eyes were wide open and he had a shocked expression on his face. „What? I didn't say that!", he quickly spat out, not knowing what to say. He gave Harry a little glance and saw that his expression was also kind of shocked. Maybe he thought that Niall would tell everyone about the kiss now? „Calm down, I'm just kidding", David laughed and started talking to some girl next to him. Louis sighed relieved; this could have gotten really awkward. Niall asked Liam for another drink as he didn't know how much vodka and cola to put in there. When he tried it he realized that there had to be even more alcohol in it than before. He already felt a bit tipsy.

When it was only a couple of minutes until midnight they all went outside. Niall had his fourth glass of vodka and was drunk already. He could barely walk straight which made Louis laugh. „I guess it's no more alcohol for you", he stated with a huge grin on his face. „Shut up, Tomlinson", the younger one replied. Niall looked around and could see couples everywhere. Louis was holding Danielle close to him now and Harry had Josie. While they were all cuddling and kissing he kept drinking, looking up to the stars above him. He was lost in thoughts when everyone started the countdown until midnight. How he wished that he could be the one Harry was holding close. He imagined the curly haired boy standing behind him, his arms wrapped around his waist. He sighed. It was only a couple of seconds now and he glanced over to Harry and Josie. They were looking into each other's eyes, all in love. They leaned in and started to kiss. It felt like someone stabbed him and kept turning the knife. When he turned in the other direction he could see that Louis was now kissing Danielle. The fireworks started and all he wanted was to run away and be alone. No one would notice that he was gone anyway. He emptied the cup and decided to go inside when he felt that someone was coming closer to him. Before he could realize what was happening he felt Josie's arms around him. „Happy new year!", she shouted in his ear. „Happy new year", he replied and tried not to sound too sad. When he let her go he found himself in front of Harry. He didn't know what to do; he desperately wanted to hug him but even if he was drunk he couldn't. „Happy new year, Harry", he quietly sad and touched his shoulder, directly turning around to get another drink. When he came back Harry and Josie were kissing again, obviously forgetting the world around them. Niall went to some bench and sat down, all alone. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there but when he finally looked around everyone was inside the house again. At least he wouldn't have to watch those happy couples any longer. Even though it was freezing cold he kept sitting there. „Happy new year, Niall... let's hope it won't suck as much as tonight", he whispered to himself. Just a couple of seconds later he could, again, feel someone approaching him. „All I wanted was to kiss you at midnight", he heard a familiar voice in his ear. Harry was standing behind him, his arms wrapped around Niall's chest. „Why don't you kiss me now?", he replied, knowing that he only said it because he was drunk. Harry walked around the bench and sat down on Niall's lap, his legs on either side of the Irish boy. Niall was holding his breath, his hands resting on the other one's hips. „I've missed you", Harry whispered when he slowly leaned in, closing his eyes. Their lips touched and for both of them it felt like the fireworks were starting all over again. While their tongues were playing with each other Harry started to slowly move his hips. It only took a couple of seconds for Niall to get hard in his pants, moaning quietly. He wished that this moment would never end. The last time they kissed Niall had already felt like he was going to lose his mind - now the feeling was even more intense, even though he never thought this could be possible. To him Harry was like a drug; he just couldn't get enough off him. The boy on top started to move his hips even quicker and harder so Niall could clearly feel the erection in Harry's pants. Suddenly Harry stopped the kiss and rested his forehead against Niall's. „Niall, what the hell are you doing to me?", he asked with a hoarse voice. „I'm not doing anything", Niall replied shaky. They were both breathing heavily while looking into each other's eyes. „That's not true... you're driving me crazy", Harry slowly shook his head while saying these words, as if he couldn't believe it himself. „I'd say I'm sorry but I'm really not, I'm afraid", Niall smirked, more confident than ever thanks to the vodka. Harry giggled and to Niall this was the cutest sound he had ever heard. „I like that side of you... the flirting and teasing Niall." „And I like it when you kiss me..." Niall leaned his head up a bit so he could take Harry's bottom lip between his teeth. Harry loudly gasped in surprise. „Jesus, Horan!", Harry said when his lip was free again; Niall smiled at him proudly. „Yes, Styles?" „I'm going to come right in my pants if you don't stop this!" That only motivated Niall to move his hand to the bulge in Harry's pants. Harry had to hide his face in the crook of Niall's neck to muffle his scream when the blonde one carefully squeezed. Niall started to kiss his neck, not caring if he would leave a little mark there. Harry started to slowly move again, feeling the heat rise up inside of him despite the cold outside. His movements got quicker with any second passing, his own hand palming Niall's erection. „I'm coming", Niall suddenly breathed, his free hand gripping Harry's hip tightly. It only took a couple of more thrusts for both of them to release. Harry sank down on Niall in exhaustion. „Oh my god, that was good", Niall couldn't believe what they had just done. „That was really good!" They stayed a little longer like this before they could finally feel the cold again. Both of their pants were wet and they needed to change. They stumbled back inside only to realize that a lot of people had already left; the other's looked like they were about to leave. Both of them tried to hide their messy pants and made their way up to Liam's room to borrow some underwear from him. They cleaned themselves up and put on the boxershorts, taking their own clothes with them to the guestroom. Niall hadn't planned to stay here but Liam had offered Harry that he could stay in the guestroom if he wanted to. The bed in there was huge enough for two guys so Niall didn't mind. He was too drunk and tired to go home anyway. Harry took his shirt off so he was only wearing Liam's boxers and jumped into the bed. He lifted the blanket and motioned for Niall to join him. He also took his shirt off and lay down in front of the slightly taller guy who wrapped his arm around him. He placed a gentle kiss on Niall's neck before they both quickly fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Niall woke up the next morning and found himself still spooned by Harry. He couldn't remember what had happened last night and therefore didn't know that it was Harry who was behind him, holding him really close. He carefully turned his head and saw those brown curls. After this little movement he felt a massive headache, making him wonder how much he actually had to drink. Then he turned his head back around, not moving at all. Even though he didn't know why he was in this bed with Harry he still wanted to enjoy every minute of it. Meanwhile he tried to remember the last night. Thanks to the headache he knew that he might had a little too much to drink; actually he could only remember about two cups of vodka and cola. Though it might have been a little too much vodka in it for someone who wasn't used to alcohol at all. Still this didn't explain why he had ended up in bed with his crush. Unfortunately it only took Harry a couple of minutes longer to slowly get awake. He lazily started moving around a bit and pressed the smaller one even closer to his body. "Mornin'", he mumbled while pressing his face into Niall's neck. „Good morning", he nervously replied and felt Harry freeze behind him. „Niall?", he nearly shouted and jumped out of bed, „what the hell are you doing here?" Just then he realized that he wasn't wearing any clothes except for some boxershorts. „Why am I only wearing these? They're not even mine!" He looked around in panic. „I actually don't know... can't remember anything thad happened", Niall replied and tried to stay calm. Harry looked in the mirror behind him, gasping when he found the mark that Niall had left. „Please tell me that wasn't you?", he asked without turning around.

He didn't get a response from Niall, who was still in bed under the covers. The next days he'd need to wear either a hoodie or a scarf to hide that hickey. Somehow he couldn't imagine that this was from his girlfriend. He also couldn't remember a single thing; he only knew that he drank more and more the closer midnight came. Harry quickly searched for his clothed to get dressed, desperately wanting to leave the room. His heart was stammering in his chest, making it feel like it was going to explode any minute. All the time Niall watched him in silence, a hurt expression on his face. It hurt him to see him like that but he just couldn't stay. He really needed to know what had happened but how should he find out if Niall couldn't remember himself? They didn't have sex, did they? At least he couldn't feel any pain in his lower back which should be a good sign, shouldn't it? What if he had been on top though? He quickly shook his head, not wanting to think about this any longer. The thought itself wasn't scaring him - but the thought that he might have actually liked that idea did. He tried his best to think about Josie and was confused when those little butterflies in his stomach suddenly disappeared. „Where are you going?", he heard the shy voice of Niall behind him when he walked towards the door. „I'm going home", he answered without turning around. He didn't want to look at Niall. The thought of him in only his boxershorts already made him feel sort of uncomfortable. He didn't wait for any response and quickly closed the door behind him. He didn't know what time it was but the sun was already rising. Luckily he didn't meet Liam, or anyone else, and could leave directly. What if they had kissed in front of everybody else? A quick look on his phone showed him that at least nobody had written to let him know anything like that. Maybe they had gone to the guestroom and made out there?

Niall quickly got dressed and left after Harry. He couldn't stop thinking about what might have happened though; maybe Louis saw something?

The next day Niall called Louis; he desperately wanted to know if he knew something. Of course he hadn't told his brother or his parents about last night, how could he? Though Greg of course thought that Niall did have a lot of fun with his „girlfriend". There was a moment when he thought about telling his big brother everything but he just couldn't do this. „Hey Louis... can I maybe come over? I really need someone to talk to", Niall said when his friend picked up the phone. „I can imagine... yeah, sure, come over whenever you want." Niall hold in a breath. What did that mean? Did Louis really knew something? „Uhm... yeah, I'll be there in a couple of minutes then." The whole way over to Louis he nervously rubbed his hands. What if he had some bad news for him? God knows what had happened between the two of them. Maybe Harry would also find out and never talk to him again?

„Come in, Niall", Louis greeted him when he finally arrived. They directly went to Louis' room and sat down on the bed. „So... do you know what happened between Harry and I?" He didn't want to waste any time. „What? Are you telling me you can't remember what happened?" Louis seemed really surprised. Of course he knew how much his friend had to drink but he didn't think it would be that bad. „Well... no?!" He told his friend what he actually remembered, which obviously wasn't much. „The next thing I know is I'm waking up next to Harry this morning, both only wearing boxers... and may I add that those weren't even ours? He kind of freaked out and then found a hickey on his neck and asked me if that was me. Obviously he couldn't remember the night himself and ran away", Niall sighed. It felt good to have someone to talk to. „Well... I can't tell you everything that happened that night but I saw you two making out in the backyard. We all went back inside after the fireworks and Josie left shortly after. I watched Harry going outside and suddenly you were all over each other... it felt like watching a soft porn or anything like that, to be honest. So that's when I left." Niall looked at him with wide eyes. „Are you serious?" Louis simply nodded. „Yeah... Harry was sitting on your lap and you were making out... so I think you giving him a hickey is quite possible." The expressions on Niall's face seemed to change every second. First there was surprise, followed by shock, just to be replaced by happiness. „That really happened? Oh my god, I can't believe it!" He started to completely freak out. Now that he heard about it he started to remember a couple of things and moments. „I can't believe you can't remember that!", Louis stated. Suddenly Niall gasped. „Fuck!" He remembered the orgasm and how they sneaked upstairs to change their clothes. That's why they've only been in their boxershorts! „What? Can you remember?" „Well... sort of?! I don't know if it actually happened but it would explain why we were wearing Liam's boxers", Niall replied, not really wanting to tell his friend the whole story. „So? What is it?" Of course Louis wanted to know. „It's just... we didn't have sex but... don't make me talk about, this is really embarrassing." That was the wrong answer as Louis got only more curious. „I gave you the hint that made you remember, Niall... so I guess you have to tell me everything about it now." Niall sighed once again, his face turning red like a tomato. „Like you said, he sat on my lap and as we made out he started moving and... yeah, well... that made us come into our pants, okay? Gosh, this is really embarrassing, I can't believe it myself." He hid his face behind his hands, slowly shaking his head. „Holy shit!", Louis gasped in surprised. He didn't expect a story like this. Anyway he didn't really know what to say about all this and he definitely didn't have any advice. This was a situation he never experienced, it was just like in the movies.

Meanwhile Harry was at home with Josie. She wanted to surprise him and came over without announcing. He only wore a hoodie, not really trying to hide the hickey. His family would only think that it was from Josie, it wouldn't be the first time. If he had known that his girlfriend would come and visit him, he would have put on a scarf though. He moved a bit awkwardly while trying to hide that part of his neck. At least he didn't have to lie to her when she asked what had happened after she had left Liam's house. „I can't really recall that much...", he shrugged. „Must have been a lot of fun then, right?", she laughed while snuggling into him. „I guess", he impassively replied. HIs thoughts were still with Niall. Why did he have those weird feelings when he thought about him? He was lost in thoughts and didn't realize what Josie was doing. She moved a bit up and tried to kiss his neck. Before he could react and make her stop she spotted the hickey. He tried to hide it but it was already too late. „Wait... what is that?" She looked at him with a shocked expression on her face. „Are you sure you can't remember what happened? Because I know that this is definitely not from me and it seems like you really had a lot of fun without me", she snapped, quickly getting up. „Please, Josie... I really can't remember, you gotta believe me. You know that I love you." This situation was beyond confusing. „Stop it, please. I don't want to hear about it. If you cheated on me with some bitch you better tell me. How am I supposed to trust you? Who knows what happened at all those parties where I haven't been?", Josie then replied and grabbed her stuff before she left the room. Harry didn't have the time to respond anything and he didn't even know what there was left to say. He could understand that she didn't want to talk to him and felt like she couldn't trust him as that was legitimate. What if she ever found out about Niall and him? Would she even come back to him after this incident? He ruffled his hair and sighed. Why did things have to be that complicated recently?

It was their first day back at school and it seemed there was an awkward silence between all of them. Josie was still mad with Harry though they didn't break up yet, Niall tried to avoid Louis because he was still embarrassed and for some reason Liam tried to avoid Harry. They were all sitting together during lunch break, no one was talking. Josie gave Harry angry glances every now and then. Niall and Louis both left a little early, leaving the three friends behind. „Is everything okay with you guys?", Liam finally asked. „Nothing is okay. Maybe you should ask Harry about his little affair?" Josie left her tray and left the cafeteria. „Let me explain before you say anything... I woke up next to someone in your house and found a hickey when I looked in the mirror... actually I don't know what happened as I obviously had too much to drink. Josie unfortunately found out and is mad, which I can totally understand... though I can't explain anything." Liam thought about it a little moment. „Maybe we should meet after school? Maybe I can explain..." „What? You know what happened?" Liam shrugged. „I'll tell you after school, okay?"

Harry couldn't wait for the school day to end. They went to the same cafe where he once went with Niall. Why did everything have to about him?

„So... tell me", Harry nervously requested, looking his friend in the eyes. Liam nearly told him the same as Louis had told Niall. „Later, before I went to bed, I looked into the guestroom and saw you guys sleeping there. You both had a little smile on your lips, you looked genuinely happy. I was really confused though... maybe I should have told you earlier... what's going between the two of you anyway?" Harry inhaled deeply. His heart skipped a beat when he thought about it. On the other hand he felt bad about it. He really did cheat on Josie - again - and he didn't know what was going on with him and his feelings. „I actually don't really know... this is also confusing for me, let me tell you. Something's changing and I don't know whether I like it", he confessed.


	9. Chapter 9

Now that both guys knew what had happened they felt even worse. They wondered how they could ever look into each other's eyes again. Though both had to admit that they missed each other; it was easier for Niall to admit those feelings to himself. Even though the whole situation was still more than difficult to Niall. Should he tell his family that he found out he was gay? There was no need to deny it any longer; he knew it was true. It felt like this secret was a huge weight on his shoulders. What if they were disappointed? Would his confession make things worse? It felt like the pressure inside of him only kept rising and he didn't know what to do about it. Just then he realized that he had kept scratching his arm the whole time; the wound was already bleeding. Somehow he didn't feel shocked or sad; the feeling was rather liberating. He simply kept looking at the blood that kept pouring out of his skin. It took some time for the shock to sink in. Niall quickly grabbed a tissue and pressed it on the wound, tears slowly filling his eyes. „What are you doing with me?", he whispered while having Harry in his mind.

„Listen, I know what happened and there's nothing for you to worry about", Harry started to explain to his girlfriend, „It was just some stupid bet, you have to believe me." He couldn't tell her the truth and he definitely didn't want to hurt her. „A bet?", she raised her eyebrows. „I know that's stupid and I'm really sorry... that's not going to happen again." Maybe he did all this to prove to himself that he couldn't be gay and that he was just going through some phase. He needed Josie to keep his feet back on the ground. „Please forgive me", he quietly added while taking her hands in his. She took a deep breath while squeezing his hands. „You're lucky that I really love you..", she just said before leaning in to kiss him. When their lips touched he couldn't feel a thing. He deepened the kiss, hoping that those feelings would finally sink in. Josie started to move her hand down to his pants, carefully squeezing when she arrived at his most sensitive part - though he still couldn't really feel a thing. She started to slowly massage him through his pants and still his little friend wouldn't come to life. It was only when he thought about Niall that he finally felt turned on.

During their next sport lesson they played football. Niall was glad that he had some jerseys with long arms as they would hide his wounds. It has been a couple of days since he had first hurt himself and there were some new wounds next to the first one. He just couldn't stop it. Hurting himself would make him forget about all the pain and trouble he went through. This was some other kind of pain, a better one. Pain he could control. Luckily it was winter so it was easy to hide the wounds.

Harry and him were in the same team; it didn't took Niall long to notice that Harry still tried to avoid him. Even though Niall was the only free player on the field, Harry wouldn't pass him the ball. This happened a couple of times and when someone from the other team shot a goal, Niall freaked out. „Jesus, Harry, why don't you just pass me the ball? I was free, damn it!" They all looked at him in surprise. Usually he was still one of the quite one's and despite his outburst during his first days he had stayed calm all of the time. „Calm down, I didn't see you", Harry yelled back. „Yeah right. Fuck you!" „Alright you two. You're sitting down on the bench for the rest of the game and you're staying longer after we're finished", Mr. Collins shouted. „Oh come on", Harry shouted while throwing his arms in the air, „Are you kidding me?" „You heard me, boys." They both went to the benches on the side, sitting as far away from each other as possible.

After the lesson they were all allowed to leave and get changed - except for Niall and Harry. „I don't know what's wrong with you but if you want to fight, then keep that for your free time. We don't need your conflicts here, did you hear me?" They both silently nodded. „I want you to talk about whatever's going on and apologize. I'll come back in about half an hour and want you to be fine by then, alright?" Again they just silently nodded, looking down on the ground. After Mr. Collins had left Niall was to first one to speak up after a little while in silence. „I'm sorry... I don't know what was going on." Harry inhaled deeply, he wanted Niall to shut up and he didn't want to be this close to him for such a long time. „What is this between us?", Niall asked and finally looked up. Harry laughed a little - it was the same question Liam had asked him a little while ago. „I don't think it's funny, Harry", Niall continued, feeling disappointed. What did he actually except Harry to say or do? It was obviously funny to the curly haired boy that he fell in love with. „No, it definitely isn't...", Harry answered and looked Niall in the eyes. He quickly jumped from his seat as he knew that he would kiss Niall if he looked at him any longer. „What am I doing wrong? Just tell me...", he heard from behind him. He turned around just to see Niall standing right in front of him again. He wanted to tell him that he did nothing wrong. He wanted to tell him about all the confusing feelings and thoughts that kept running right through him. But of course he didn't have the courage to. Those thoughts were still confusing and scary. Just then he realized that they were only a couple of centimeters apart from each other. All he had to do was lean in a little closer and he would be able to feel Niall's lips on his again. Though he didn't have to do anything as Niall already had his eyes closed and leaned in. It was just a shy and careful kiss but soon Harry wrapped his arms around the smaller one and pulled him close. They stumbled a bit and Harry crashed against the lockers with his back. He turned them around and placed his hands on either side of Niall's head against the lockers. They kept kissing each other forcefully and slowly moved their hips against each other's. „You're doing nothing wrong", Harry spoke under his breath between kisses. Niall quietly moaned while his hands were moving up and down Harry's back. When he started running his hands under Harry's shirt the older one let go of him to take the shirt off. Niall looked at his friends bare chest, put his hands on the skin and kissed him again. Both of them totally forgot where they were. It was just when Harry wanted to take off Niall's shirt, that he came back to his senses. „We can't do that right now", he panicked, trying to get some distance between them. Harry was confused and somehow hurt. „What?" Niall wasn't even scared about Mr. Collins to come back in; he was only scared that Harry would see his wounds. Luckily he didn't have to answer as they heard their teacher coming back in that exact moment. They jumped a bit away from each other, still trying to catch their breath. „Did you fight again?", Mr. Collins asked in surprise as he saw the two of them standing in the changing room, out of breath with heated faces and swollen lips. „No, we didn't", Niall simply stated. They could see that their teacher didn't believe them - how could he know that they've been doing the opposite? „We apologized, we're good now", Harry agreed. Mr. Collins obviously still didn't believe them, still he let them go. „Well I hope that won't happen again in my lesson, boys. You're free to go." Before he left the gym he turned around one last time to give them a strange glance. „Jesus... it's good that you stopped me. I was afraid he could ask me why I'm not wearing a shirt", Harry laughed nervously. „Yeah... it was like I knew this was going to happen, I got nervous", Niall replied, glad that he didn't have to explain his actions. „So... what are you doing after school? Wanna go and get some hot chocolate or anything like that?", Harry suggested while getting dressed. The blonde one smiled. Maybe things were getting better between them now? Though when they left the building, Josie was already waiting for them. „Hey, what happened? Mr. Collins told me you were still in there", she greeted them and walked right up to Harry to give him a kiss. Niall looked away. It felt like someone stabbed a knife in his heart and twisted it. Suddenly all the hope that everything could be normal between them vanished. How could they be friends when he had those feelings? Though how could Harry still be with his girlfriend when he kept making out with him? „Sorry... I totally forgot that we wanted to meet after school", Harry confessed, blushing, „maybe we could go to the cafe together?" Niall quickly shook his head. „No it's fine, I have some homework to do anyway. We can still go next time." He wouldn't survive an afternoon together with the couple. He waved and turned around, ready to go home. „See you tomorrow", Harry shouted but Niall didn't turn around again.

Back at home Niall went straight to his room as his family wasn't home. He jumped on his bed and instantly started crying. Before Josie had arrived he felt really good but right now? It didn't take him long to realize that scratching his skin wasn't enough - it didn't really hurt anymore. Though he somehow felt like he needed some pain to make the mental pain go away. He looked through his drawers and finally found the scissor he was looking for.

„As you all know we're planning a school trip right before the easter holidays", Mr. Freeman announced, „we are going camping in the woods. Please get this form filled out from your parents and give it back to me within the next two weeks." Everyone in class got excited, those trips usually were a lot of fun. „Before you ask... no, you can't choose who you're going to share a tent with. We're going to pair you up." That was the point were the excitement wasn't that present anymore. Niall had been hoping that Harry would ask him to share a tent. In his head he already saw him cuddling into Harry, waking up next to him. Just like it had happened before - but now they could both enjoy it. Maybe that wasn't going to happen now. Luckily they would be the only class going on that school trip so Josie wouldn't be there. He liked her, she was a nice girl. Though he would like her more if she wasn't in a relationship with his crush. He just couldn't help it. „I'm really looking forward to go camping", he heard a familiar voice behind him. He had been lost in thoughts and therefore hadn't realized that everyone started leaving for their break. „Yeah, it's going to be fun", Niall replied, looking straight at Harry. Liam and Louis were standing next to them, trying to hide their smiles. For them it was starting to get really obvious that their friends had a crush on each other. It was somehow cute but at the same time annoying. It didn't seem like they would confess their feelings anytime soon. Liam and Louis looked at each other - both still trying not to smile. „Does Louis know about them?", Liam asked himself. Hopefully he would meet Louis alone soon so he could ask him. The look on his face made him feel like he definitely knew about them and that would make things easier. Maybe they could help them in the end? The only problem would be Josie who didn't suspect anything yet.

If someone told them, right in that moment, where they would be ten years from now, they wouldn't believe it.


End file.
